I should Have Caught The Ball

I Should Have Caught That Ball

I am not one to brag about my “luck” when it comes to winning door prizes or any such rewards. Whenever I attend events that have prizes, I normally disqualify myself before I give myself a chance because the record of accomplishment speaks for itself-almost a zero. Who wants to go through all the pain and disappointment of losing?

Therefore, it was no surprise when, one Wednesday evening at church during a champions rally, I did not fully engage in the action because I KNEW I would not win any prize.
Now do not get me wrong: the desire to win something is always there. I long to be the one to stand and scream and say, “I got the tickets to go watch the Colts play NE.” It has NEVER happened. I stand in awe at people who always win and sometimes I reason with myself and think, “These people are in with the Maker because they are always winning something. As for me, maybe God will look upon me in heaven.”

Back to the Champions Rally: The instructions were clear-two beach balls would be tossed back and forth within the crowd as the music played. Whoever had the ball when the music stopped won a prize. One of the conditions of getting the prize though was to yell as loud as you could in the presence of about 800 people and say, “I am a champion for Life.” When that whole scenario of going before the people played out in my mind, I really disqualified myself and decided just to watch the fun.

Robert, a good friend of mine sat next to me at this rally and as we saw how the ball passed us by more than 7 times, became frustrated. He turned to me and said, “If that ball comes to our section, I will make sure that we will get a prize. I will hook you up with the ball.” My response was a laugh of nervousness: what if the ball did come or direction, will I catch it? “No,” I said to myself, “It will not come this way-please.” However, as surely as the sun rises from the east every day and sets in the west, that ball came in our direction and the whole scenario played out like a script. The music had been playing for a while as the ball was being tossed back and forth. The ball somehow found its way exactly above Robert’s head. He caught it and then passed it on to me. The music stopped while I held the ball and without thinking twice, I threw the ball back in the air, to the chagrin of Robert, and let someone else have the ball.

I cannot begin to tell you how the people around me were shocked at what I did. Disbelief was the foundation of that occasion at that point. Robert did not even want to hear my explanation, which was a cheap shot, “I thought you would hold on to the ball. I did not think you would give it to me.” To which he responded, “I told you I would, what changed?” As we went back and forth, I trying to assign the blame on Robert, I could hear someone shouting, “I am a champion for life.” There goes my prize I thought. Frustrated with myself beyond measure, I pondered and for the life of me, could not figure out why I let that ball get away from me. So close, yet so far.

As I wrestled with my thoughts as my spirit quietend, the heavenly father stepped in. I could hear that small voice as though someone was sitting right next to me telling me:

“That ball was meant for you, but you let fear rob you of it. If you are not careful, you will let things in life that rightfully belong to you slip away. Put aside fear and the fear of perception and grab hold of that which I have for you.”

I tried to prove God wrong and defend myself. Unfortunately, that did not work. I gave up!

How bad did I want that door prize?
How willing was I to work with the conditions that were set in order to win the prize?
My desires spoke one thing. My actions spoke the loudest though.

A look at the Word of God helped me understand the reality of what fear can do:

Matthew 25: 14-29, “…And I was afraid and went away and hid the talent in the ground. See you have what is yours.” God had given the man what was rightfully his, but because the man did not “understand his master heart,” he let fear control his action and miss the very thing that God wanted to use to bless him.

I Samuel 15: 1-34, “…Then Saul said to Samuel, ‘I have sinned, I have indeed transgressed the command of the Lord and your words because I feared the people and listened to their voice…” The Kingdom of Israel was given to Saul. It was his, approved by God, but he let fear and the voices of people deter him from his rightful place and God stripped him of the very thing that was rightfully his.

Proverbs 29: 25, “The fear of man brings a snare, but he who TRUSTS in the Lord will be exalted.” Trusting and fearing God is what makes the difference. Trusting and fearing man is another story.

In as much as I lost out on the door-prize which had not eternal consequences, God used that scenario to awaken a part of my life that has held back pursuing the things of God, or dreams I have because of fear; what will they think about me? How will they judge me? How will I look in front of them?

Have we ever considered how God feels when we disrespect Him by not trusting him? Is He not the God who said:

“Fear not, for I am with you.”

I John 4: 18: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

II Timothy 1: 7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and discipline.”

Am I suggesting that we live a life without fear? That is unheard of. What I am suggesting is that we live our lives with a healthy fear. We need to Fear God. This kind of fear for God, translates into an “awesome respect” for God. All other kinds of fear are detrimental. When God called each one of us, He knew what kind of baggage we came with, but that did not stop Him from calling us. We can have every excuse of why we fear, but at the end of the day, God will not hold us accountable based on how we felt, but on how He Himself felt because He gave us a manual of how to live in His Word.

I did not catch that ball, but as I wrote in my journal of August 8, 2007, “I learnt a lesson that will propel me-I pray from now on…not to let fear stop me. I would rather fail having tried, than not trying because I was afraid.